


Dave: Have a Feelings Jam with Roxy about Gender

by bakedpotatocat



Series: Dave: Give Up on Masculinity [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Trans Character, Gen, Gender Issues, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Not Epilogue Compliant, Past Abuse, Post-Gender Society, Sparring, Swords, Toxic Masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 20:55:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18818839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedpotatocat/pseuds/bakedpotatocat
Summary: Dave is finally ready to face some of his hangups surrounding masculinity, and goes to Roxy, who has come out along with Calliope as nonbinary, for some help. Also they do some sick sparring with swords.





	Dave: Have a Feelings Jam with Roxy about Gender

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nihilBliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilBliss/gifts).



> Part of a fic trade with the wonderful nihilBliss. Check out their end of the bargain, a fantastic Jade/Sollux fic here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819007

Dave huffed in frustration. He’d been staring at his phone for the past hour, trying to work up the courage to text Roxy. Once he did this there was no coming back. Those weaselly Lalondes would tease anything out of him once they had the slightest idea there was a magicians scarf to yoink, a long patched cloth of embarrassing memories and traumas that just kept being pulled out of his and their asses like a ripcord of anal beads. Alright, Strider, you kinda even lost yourself on that one. Pull the trigger already.

DAVE: hey  
DAVE: roxy  
ROXY: whats good daddio  
DAVE: gross  
ROXY: yah yah whatever  
ROXY: you never text me just to catch up whats the scoop  
DAVE: actually rox-a-lot ive decided to change my dastardly ways   
DAVE: are u busy tomorrow  
ROXY: are any of us ever really busy  
DAVE: fair point  
DAVE: but you know what i mean  
ROXY: yes dave you can absolutely come over and we can catch up about our thrilling lives of making art and making out with our SOs  
DAVE: you are absolutely correct sbahj is a masterpiece unlike any other  
ROXY: well i cant wait to hear all about geromys latest character development  
ROXY: also you should drag karkat along  
ROXY: callies been bugging me about troll romance for this comic theyre drawin  
ROXY: and i dunno SHIT about it haha   
ROXY: i figure karkles is the preeminent expert anyway  
DAVE: why do you do this to me  
DAVE: you know very well he hates the name karkles  
ROXY: im ur mom dave its my JOB to embarrass the shit out of you  
ROXY: well yknow  
ROXY: ecto slash mom slash dad slash parental unit  
ROXY: anyways  
ROXY: come over whenever tomorrow  
DAVE: aight cool  
DAVE: sounds good  
DAVE: also  
ROXY: yah  
DAVE: im really glad ur happy now  
ROXY: thanks ya big softie  
ROXY: everything good  
ROXY: ?  
DAVE: it will be  
ROXY: aight whatever lol  
ROXY: see ya tomorrow

Dave sighed in relief. Roxy would help him figure this shit out. They, along with Callie, were pretty much the pre-eminent experts on gender on Earth C, and how it was basically “fake-ass bullshit for nerds lol just do whatever you want its chill as long as u also respect everyone else’s right to do whatever they want lol”. He thought that was the whole thing they had slurred at him one evening. Gender was a … complicated subject. All those feelings were wrapped up in about a dozen layers of irony, protecting the sharp sword edges of an overly masculine (and abusive, don’t forget) upbringing. Dirk was a good guy. Different enough from his brother to feel ok around, after a couple years and some therapeutic talks with Rose. She was getting her degree, finally, under a fake name so she wouldn’t get “undue attention”. Like she wouldn’t be the center of focus anyway. No, Roxy was the only one to talk about this with. They would help.

 

* * *

 

Dave watched Karkat ring the doorbell at Roxy and Callie’s house from atop the trellis he had climbed, where he was waiting to dramatically enter through the window like a hidden lover from an old 80s movie. Karkat looked up and scowled at his act, rolling his eyes at Strider’s frankly predictable antics. The last time they had been over Dave had alchemized a ridiculously oversized boombox and blasted Careless Whisper at maximum volume, yelling about how he wanted Roxy back and he was sorry, he’d never hurt them like that again. Dave hadn’t done anything wrong, of course, except maybe avoid seeing anyone other than Karkat and Jade in person, but 80s movie shenanigans were by this point his calling card when the pair visited Roxy. Callie opened the door and ushered Karkat in, excitedly dragging the troll to their crafts room, which Dave knew from previous visits was filled wall to wall with notebooks and every art supply imaginable. Dave rapped loudly on Roxy’s window.

Roxy opened the window. “Heyyy, loverboy. What brings you here this time of night.” They both stifled a giggle. Dave wasn’t sure how his ectoparent could speak an exact number of y’s, and it was broad daylight (to Karkat’s consternation), but this was the game, and damned if he wasn’t going to enjoy it.

“I needed to see that handsome broad that haunts my dreams, of course.”

Roxy rolled their eyes and broke into a hearty laugh. “Alright, Davey, you win. The shades are cheating, by the way. I can’t ever tell how serious you are. Come in from the trellis, its not that sturdy. But seriously, whats the scoop?”

Dave plopped dramatically on the beanbag in Roxy’s bedroom. Callie and Roxy had separate rooms, technically, but he knew they more often than not shared a bed. Karkat and him did on occasion as well, although they were more likely to fall asleep on the couch than anywhere else. He took a deep breath and steeled himself to let some of the irony barriers drop. “Do you, ever… think about gender?”

“Dave, that’s a very leading question and both of us know it. Of course I think about gender a lot. Me and Callie are like, the only ones that seem to have an interest in it besides the simple propagation of archaic pre-Earth C gender roles.”

“Sorry, I’m not following.”

“Well yeah, that’s cause you and Karkat never go outside, and half of us are incapable of introspection anyway.

“Low blow.”

“I’m right.”

“GODDDDD, whatever _mom_ ”, Dave said pointedly. “Enough of the nitpicking and more about the gender shit. I’m getting winded from this emotional whiplash of you calling out literally everyone I know.”

“okay, well ANYWAYS, the point is that the rose from my universe left me a LOT of old feminist literature. And a lot of it is dated even by your standards, but like. The housewife shit? Its old news and nobody in the history of this planet has done it. Earth C is a post-gender society and like, none of this shit matters except what makes you happy. I’ve talked to DiStri, I know his alternate counterpart fucked you up with like, archaic ideals of masculinity and shit, but no one on this planet even knows what that is except us. Its performative for no audience.”

“I’m feeling very attacked right now, Roxy,” Dave stuttered slightly, soul screaming that he needed to cover up, throw up a dozen emotional barricades, that he was right that it was still dangerous to be vulnerable, “and I don’t know what on Earth C makes you think that I feel any which sort of way about this.” He fidgeted with his shades, the protection that hid him from the world’s peering eyes, and fought both the urge to decaptchalogue one of his many swords and the urge to get Karkat and escape, to bury himself under a million blankets with the one person he actually trusted not to hurt him. Okay, Strider, deep breaths. It’s Roxy. The only thing harmful they’ve ever done intentionally was killing the Batterwitch, and lord knows that bitch deserved it. Dave took a deep breath, counted to ten, and flexed his hands. “If we’re gonna keep fucking talking about this, we need to goddamn spar or something.”

“Alright. I’ll go get the training swords.”

 

* * *

 

Roxy stood a dozen feet from Dave in the backyard, ringed with hedges to keep out prying eyes. They were both godtiers, and in no danger of real harm, but they still used blunted training swords, because fuck if getting cut didn’t hurt. Roxy had picked up the art of swordsmanship after they started transitioning, both as an excuse to see Dave and Dirk more often and because, in her own joking words, “ranged weapons are for girls”. They wielded a short sword in one hand and a parrying dagger in the offhand. Dave, as always, stuck to his preferred hand-and-a-half sword. The pair circled each other, sizing up the opponent. Dave usually started out defensively, both to give Roxy practices and because it was his style. He was a Knight, after all, under attack by this tricksy Rogue.

“So Dave,” Roxy started as they studied Dave’s stance, Cheshire Cat grin looking for an opening in both his sword hold and emotional state, okay Strider, they’re not trying to attack you. Well, they are, but only in the physical sense, and that’s cause that’s what you want. Cause it makes it easier to justify the defensiveness. Get out of your head and get ready to fight. He had obviously missed half of them speaking. “…but basically, cis people don’t think about their gender. And I can look at you Dave, cause I’m a lot more like you than Rose or Dirk or anyone else is, and I can tell that you’re burying something.” They dashed in, closing the distance to strike at Dave’s off side. He parried with one hand, grabbing her dagger wrist with the other.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that, little cat. You swing at the king, you best not miss.” He stepped into their space and slammed a headbutt into Roxy’s noggin, knocking them to the ground. “Besides, I’ve never been anything except a man. If I even wanted to be someone else I wouldn’t know where to start.”

They popped right back to their feet, bouncing from one leg to the next, short dyed hair flowing like water in the breeze. “See, you don’t need to be a man. You just need to be yourself.” Roxy flipped their grip on the dagger and feinted left, then moved to strike right with short sword and dagger. Dave blocked one hit and then dodged the second, kicking the smaller human a few feet back.

“Yeah, well, I don’t really know who I am.” Dave shifted stance to move on the offensive, now, starting to hammer Roxy with sword blows and his frustration alike. “All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect people. To protect myself.” Roxy was low to the ground now, doing their best to defend against the onslaught of blows that hammered with a weight they had never felt Dave use. “And I know how to be a guy, and even though I fucking hate it, and I hate Bro’s stupid sense of masculinity and hiding yourself beneath a dozen layers, its safe and its easy and vulnerability is dangerous.” Tears were welling up under Dave’s glasses, now, and he could barely even see Roxy except for a blur in front of him. “Vulnerability is how people get fucking killed or cut up or _hurt_.” Dave’s voice cracked on the last word. The sword dropped to the ground, infinitely heavier than it was only a second ago, and he felt wobbly on his feet. Roxy swept him up into a hug, pulling off his shades so that Dave could cry into their hair.

“Shhhh, baby, its ok. Its ok. No one on this planet is ever gonna hurt you like that again, or try to kill any of your friends, or anything like that. Its safe here now. Its ok to be yourself, to be feminine and vulnerable or any of the things that you were taught made you weak. Now come on, lets go sit on the couch and I’ll get Karkat.”


End file.
